a response to "a thought on marriage"

before i even begin, ryan was the one that suggested i make this a blog entry...

ryan posted a blog today titled 'a thought on marriage'. here's what he had to say:
There are lots of reasons why people get married:
- to have children (yes, it is a biological fact that you cannot do this if you are unmarried)
- society expects it of them
- to avoid dying alone (only works for one person)
- to disappoint your parents with your choice of mate

However, there's really only one good reason to get hitched - vacation.

Dinner alone or a movie alone is sad but at least it's quick. Vacation alone is pretty much unheard of and freakish. When you're a kid, there's no worry about going on vacation alone - that's what your family is for. As you become a young adult, you start going on vacation with friends.

But eventually, all those friends start to get married and settle down and start the cycle all over. If you're still single, you're relatively screwed, and all your vacation days go to absolute waste as you spend a week at home eating Cheez-Its and watching reruns of Family Feud.

For the select few George Clooney types in the world, this isn't a problem, because you can always find a lady eager to accompany you to Argentina or Corsica or whatever. For the rest of you, better find a suitable husband or wife while you can. Busch Gardens Williamsburg is totally worth it.

and then i made a comment on the matter...
i can think of one other good reason (would be my main impetus for taking the marriage plunge)... PRESENTS! it's perfect because you make lists of all of the random stuff you want, but can't afford, or the useless crap you really want, but can't bring yourself to buy, tell people you're getting married and here's where you're registered, and the presents start rolling in. and a tip... you will probably get better presents if you have a destination elopement and no one can come or even knew you got married, and thus feel guilty, and spend more money on your presents. ...professional grade espresso machine, you will one day be mine!

and then we continued the discussion via instant messenger
me: i commented on your blog.
ryan: see i think that's somewhat valid. but. for some people...they spend as much on the wedding as they would on presents. so the math doesnt work for everyone
me: that's true. but that's why you get married in secret and just make everyone feel guilty. if you do it right, you can make thousands.
ryan: hmmm... but do you risk making people mad and getting nothing?
me: i don't know. i think there's a way to get all the presents you want, and still not have to feed everyone.
ryan: hahaha
me: i mean, look at it this way... tell everyone you ever met you are getting or got married. tell them where you're registered. have a very small wedding or go to vegas or city hall. invite people to cici's, which you have reserved for the reception. people give you presents. it's perfect. ...but nowadays peple are much more open to giving gifts for occassions other than babies and weddings (holidays and birthdays not included).
ryan: plus i love cicis
me: exactly.
me: just make a big cake, have someone famous and/or naked pop out of it, and no one will even remember why they're there or that they spent $100 on a cabbage shaped soup tureen you're going to return anyway.
ryan: hahahaha...that is a good plan. this cannot fail. i think this now turned into your blog post ironically.
me: probably. i also will have to do a post about the minature donkeys since i can't stop talking about them.